The other day, I was walking through the store (in the book section) and noticed the word ‘Poop’ out of the corner of my eye. I turned to focus my full attention on this bizarre title, and it read: “Judy Moody and the Poop Picnic“. I quickly took a survey of my surroundings to make sure I hadn’t walked into some sort of adult section. Nope. It was a child’s education book. I was so amused by the title–I had to take a picture with my cellphone and shoot it to everyone I know. I still don’t know if my brother believes me because his initial reaction was–this is a joke. The following is a list of some of the cutest, funniest, twisted and disturbing children’s books on the shelves of your local bookstore and Amazon.com! For all of you who have kids and likely own a few of these–I’m not doubting their effectiveness in teaching your children–I just find them somewhat amusing. Anyhoo…let’s do this!
#1 Judy Moody and the Poop Picnic
Don’t eat it Judy!!! If you think the title is bad…try reading the summary on Amazon: Judy is desperately trying to earn thrill points, so she plans a trip to the Cemetery Creep n Crawl. Meanwhile, Stink has been collecting all the samples and evidence he can in his efforts to catch Bigfoot. Add in Aunt Opal s crazy driving (and bad sense of direction), and somehow they all end up at an abandoned amusement park, eating scat sandwiches. That s gotta be worth some thrill points. . . .
#2 The Long Journey of Mister Poop
Luckily, this one is in English and Spanish. LOL! This book gently explains where poop comes from. I wish I would have had this book when I was little. Somehow I thought my ears were involved.
#3 In The Night Kitchen
This controversial book from the 1970s is about a young boy’s dream through a surreal baker’s kitchen. I remember being read this when I was little and loved it. However, I did think it was quite strange.
Wikipedia: He falls naked into a giant mixing pot that contains the batter for the “morning cake”. While Mickey is buried in the mass, three identical bakers (who most likely resemble Oliver Hardy) mix the batter and prepare it for baking, unaware (or unconcerned) that there is a boy inside. Halfway through the baking process, the boy emerges from the oven, protesting that he is not the batter’s milk.
To make up for the baking ingredient deficiency, Mickey (now covered in batter from the neck down) constructs an airplane out of bread dough so he can fly to the mouth of a gigantic milk bottle. Upon reaching the bottle’s opening, he dives in and briefly revels in the liquid. After his covering of batter disintegrates, he pours the needed milk in a cascade down to the bakers who joyfully finish making the morning cake.
With dawn breaking, the naked Mickey crows like a rooster and slides down the bottle to magically return to his bed. Everything is back to normal, beyond the happy memory of his experience.
#4 Standing Up
Description: Inspired by the historic Manneke Pis statue in his hometown of Brussels, a little boy practices and perfects the art of “standing up.”
#5 Where Willy Went…
With some of these books, the title kind of says it all. This book is for the parent that just can’t look their kids in the eye while telling them about the birds and bees. Just toss the book in their room run for your life!
Description: Willy is a sperm. He lives inside Mr Browne. The trouble is, Willy is one of 300 million sperm and they all want the same prize – an egg. The egg is inside Mrs Browne, to get it, he must win a race against the other 299 million sperm. Join Willy on his quest for the ultimate prize and find out where he went …Hilariously funny, warm, endearing and totally non-threatening – this small masterpiece from Nicholas Allan presents the facts of life to young children in a unique but totally accessible way. A Godsend for any parent faced with awkward questions.
#6 Hair In Funny Places
Wow! Hilarity in your pants! 🙂 This book helps kids understand adolescence, ironically, through an animated stuffed bear.
School Library Journal: Ted, an animated stuffed bear, explains to his young owner about her parents’ entry into adolescence. “Mr. and Mrs. Hormone-are in charge of growing up-[they] mix the potions that turn children into adults.” The physical and emotional effects of their concoctions are discussed, including hair growth, pimples, menstruation (“Then she found a tiny drop of blood in her underpants!”), and wet dreams (“Then some sticky stuff actually came out”). No biological terms are used-only surface descriptions. As in so many of her books, Cole tackles this subject with lighthearted humor.
#7 I Wish My Daddy Wouldn’t Drink So Much
This ranks right up there with ‘Why Did Daddy Blow Chunks in My Easy-Bake Oven.’ Seriously, we probably need more books like this and I’m sure this book has done some great educating–I just can’t get past that title. Brutal. Not to be outdone by…
#8 The House That Crack Built
Yeah, I thought the previous title was brutal. This one just takes the cake. Okay, children! After we finish that episode of Sesame Street–were all going to learn about the benefits of running your own drug lab! It’s actually frightening that some kids may actually need something like this to understand their situation.
Description: With a beat reminiscent of hip hop or rap music, a well known nursery rhyme is brilliantly transformed into a powerful poem about the tragic problem of illegal drugs and its victims. From the harvesting of the coca plants to dealers and gangs to the innocent crack babies born everyday, cocaine’s journey is starkly traced from beginning to end. The rhythmic text, which is realistic but not moralizing, will appeal to teenagers and adults. But it is also accessible for even very young children, making this a valuable resource for parents, teachers, librarians, caregivers, and everyone else who is looking for a way to broach this difficult subject. A list of organizations is provided for those seeking help for a loved one or a way out for themselves. A forword by children’s advocate Michael Pritchard teaches us that we are all victims of this debilitating drug but reminds us that we also have the ability to change our world.
#9 My Big Sister Takes Drugs
This book also works if you have a cross-dressing big brother. Wow! Again! The titles of these books…amazing. This book is the first in a trilogy. The second book is titled ‘My Big Sister Gave Me Drugs.’ Of course, it wasn’t as popular as the third and final volume ‘The Whole Family Now Lives In The House That Crack Built.’
#10 And Tango Makes Three
This books is actually part of a trend supporting same sex marriages that adopt.
School Library Journal: PreSchool-Grade 3-This tale based on a true story about a charming penguin family living in New York City’s Central Park Zoo will capture the hearts of penguin lovers everywhere. Roy and Silo, two male penguins, are “a little bit different.” They cuddle and share a nest like the other penguin couples, and when all the others start hatching eggs, they want to be parents, too. Determined and hopeful, they bring an egg-shaped rock back to their nest and proceed to start caring for it.
#11 Daddy, Papa and Me
Look, I get it. It’s just that the cover…
#12 Manneken Pis
Educational or not, the story of this book is brilliant. The first time I read it, I laughed and cried so hard…I almost dialed 911.
School Library Journal: When the child’s parents disappear, he searches for them and comes to the heart of the fighting at the town wall. In the midst of all of this chaos and confusion, he suddenly really needs- to go. And he does-all over the people fighting below. Somehow this need to relieve himself suspends the conflict as people begin to laugh and laugh. Everyone then falls asleep. When they awaken, happiness is restored, the boy is reunited with his parents, and the residents erect a statue in tribute to the “little boy who peed on a war.”
#13 The Un-Wedding
This is by far one of the strangest books I have read. It approaches divorce from a positive angle! Hey, kids! Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce! Let’s throw a party!
School Library Journal: Cole utilizes her usual irreverent humor to create an entertaining spoof on a serious situation. Demetrius and Paula are concerned about Dad and Mum, who are constantly bickering and intolerant of one another’s odd habits, interests, and opinions. When they start playing cruel jokes on each other, Paula asks their minister to un-marry them. With the full support of the two adults, the children plan an un-wedding that culminates in separate un-honeymoons. While they’re gone, the children bulldoze the house and build separate ones to accommodate each parent’s taste. The children now have two of everything, and the parents live “happily ever afterAapart.”
#14 What’s Going On Down There?
It all depends on what you did the night before. (chortle) But seriously (and I am not joking this time), there is another book in the same series for girls called ‘What’s Going On Up There?’
Description: Why is my voice making such weird sounds? When will I be able to start shaving? Why do I keep getting pimples? What is a wet dream?
Your body has been behaving very strangely lately. You hardly know what to expect from one day to the next. Karen Gravelle, with some help from her two young advisors, Nick and Chava Castro, has written a down-to-earth and practical book that will help guide you through this confusing time in your life. What’s Going On Down There? answers any questions you might have about puberty, from what it is and what it feels like, to what puberty is like for girls, to how to handle the sexual feelings you may be starting to experience. Robert Leighton’s funny and informative cartoons ease the confusion and exasperation you might feel.
Part manual, part older brother, What’s Going On Down There? will give you the facts you need to feel comfortable and confident about this new phase of your life.
#15 Black Like Kyra, White Like Me
And the room goes silent. Awkward.
School Library Journal: Kyra Kirk is one of Christy’s best friends, but when Kyra’s family moves in next door to Christy, trouble begins. Kyra is African-American, and the neighborhood is all white. Racists make the Kirks feel unwelcome, and let the air out of their tires. Even Christy’s parents show reluctance about getting to know the new family. Vigna is not up to the challenge of this difficult subject. She makes sweeping generalizations, implying black neighborhoods are dangerous and white ones are safe, just the types of stereotypes that need dispelling, not reinforcing. Poverty is not discussed as a factor in crime or dangerous neighborhoods. The ending jumps curiously ahead from summer to winter; the Kirks are still trying to settle in, while one of the white families is moving away. Kyra and Christy are shown playing happily together, as if white-flight were the solution. As evidenced by the title, the story’s point of view is white; Christy’s parents are more concerned with their standing in the neighborhood than they are with the injustice they witness, and even try to justify a neighbor’s actions.
#16 It Hurts When I Poop
Yeah, I had to read that twice too. Break out the Prep-H, it’s a party! Maybe someone should have told the dinosaur that touching is bad too. Love the title, though. Maybe I should write some children’s books. I can see the titles now– ‘Prairie Doggin’ It for Toddlers’, ‘Shake the Booty To Free The Doody’—hmmm. Maybe not.
And there you go! And this is the small list! Thanks for reading here at WoggleBox.com and if your bored, check out some of these other strange books for kids:
The Story of Little Black Sambo
Heather Has Two Mommies
What’s the Poop Tony?
Happy To Be Nappy
Where The Wild Things Are
Amazing You! Getting Smart About Private Parts
What’s Going On Up There?
It’s You and Me Against The Pee (And The Poop!)